voelkels

C.J. Voelkel

voelkels’ Activity

Sat Dec 3

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Boards Post

voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 12:57 PM

Moving to New Orleans

This happened on a flight getting ready to depart for New Orleans. Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

"What's the matter?" [more]

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voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 9:33 AM

Acts 2:38

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be [more]

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Boards Post

voelkels replied to the BBQ, Art of, Fun(ky), The board. 8:14 AM

Re: Dry-Aged Beef

“I think she saw Alton Brown do it once, and now is convinced that is the way to go. I see no value to it at all. I'm just losing moisture. How is that a good thing?”

Dry aging allows the meat time to decompose, which similarly breaks [more]

Thu Dec 1

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voelkels posted to the Recipes/Cooking board. 10:05 AM

It Is December 1st, . .

. . the start of cookie baking season. So far I have baked two batches of chocolate chip cookies and one batch of “butter balls”. Besides that I mixed up the filling for a batch of Kentucky Bourbon Balls and a batch of “Green Fairy Balls” (similar to [more]

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Boards Post

voelkels posted to the BBQ, Art of, Fun(ky), The board. 9:02 AM

Dry-Aged Beef

From Tom Fitzmorris’ “New Orleans Menu Daily”;
”You can dry-age your own beef if you have an extra refrigerator. I am hesitant about recommending the process otherwise, because of the temperature changes, the aromas . . . .”

See; [more]

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voelkels replied to the Recipes/Cooking board. 8:29 AM

Re: Turkey Carcass Soup

Just wondering if anyone tried anything different this year from the standard recipe?

This year, DW stuffed & roasted a 12.75-pound turkey that I had brined for the two of us (axe-u-lee, I suggested that we stuff & roast a [more]

Fri Nov 25

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voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 8:58 AM

At the Doctor's Office

Marie, the pretty Cajun young lady is at old Doc. Pritchard’s office for her yearly physical examination before going off to college. After the exam they be talking together for a few minutes and the Doc say to Marie “I hear that you are going out [more]

Tue Nov 22

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voelkels replied to the Living Below Your Means board. 9:08 AM

Re: Poinsettias

I have, in the past, raised poinsettias and, on occasion, have had them bloom (but not as nice as those I can buy at Wal-Mart, Lowe’s, etc., no). Now-a-daze, we buy the plants, enjoy them for four or three weeks and then compost them. If you want [more]

Thu Nov 10

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voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 6:18 AM

Rose?

Two elderly couples, friends for over sixty years, were visiting at one of their homes. The women were in the kitchen making snacks while the men were in the living room watching a football game and drinking beer. George tells Harry about a new [more]

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voelkels replied to the Building / Maintaining a Home board. 5:57 AM

Re: rats and firewood

“Meow.”

Rats are on the large side for feral house cats. And you probably don't want even the smallest of their wild cousins hanging around.


Our outside cats would catch and kill the local wild rats, squirrels, mice, etc. [more]

Sun Nov 6

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voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 5:30 AM

Sperm Count

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sper? count.The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and [more]

Wed Nov 2

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Boards Post

voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 9:04 AM

Homeless Man

Shamelessly stolen from the U.K. Fool’s “Jokers Corner”;

I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat,
my clothes were [more]

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voelkels replied to the Building / Maintaining a Home board. 8:42 AM

Re: Intermittent Electricity

FWIW, we bought a house that had been repossessed twice about 27 or 26 years ago. The original owner was a shyster lawyer who attempted to get out of paying his bills (there was so many leans on the lot to the south of us that it was sold to the [more]

Fri Oct 28

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voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 7:05 AM

The Bum

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times,
approaches a well-dressed gentleman on the street.

"Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?"

The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going [more]

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voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 6:47 AM

High Definition

A farmer finally decided to buy a new HDTV. The store assured him that they would install the antenna and HDTV the next day.

The next evening the farmer turned on his new HDTV and found only political ads on every channel. The next morning [more]

Wed Oct 26

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Boards Post

voelkels replied to the Gardening and Landscaping board. 6:47 PM

Re: Tomato Plant Holdover?

Is it ever possible to "winter over" a plant like that inside, keeping it in a sunny place and watering it, etc.?

It is possible as long as you don’t over water (root rot) it, have lots of light, good air circulation, etc., [more]

Mon Oct 24

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voelkels posted to the Pet Lovers board. 7:04 AM

Goodbye Miss Rat

I’m afraid that we lost Rat, our 17-year old mostly Siamese queen who was our last outside cat. On warm days, she preferred to eat and sleep outside since the kittens DW “rescued” three years ago ( [more]

Sun Oct 23

NL

Boards Post

voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 7:50 AM

Political Jokes

In case y’all don’t know, the Fool has a political joke board at http://boards.fool.com/political-jokes-117454.aspx .
;-)

C.J.V. - been sorta quiet over dare the last few [more]

Fri Oct 21

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Boards Post

voelkels replied to the Guns for Sport & Protection board. 6:15 AM

Re: Sandy Hook parents' lawsuit against Bush

In 2015 only 26% of Chicago's homicides were cleared(Solved)
Murder really pays off if you are in a big city controlled by a corrupt Democrat party machine.


And last night in N’Orleans (See; [more]

Wed Oct 19

NL

Boards Post

voelkels posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 8:50 AM

Enreco the Knife

Enreco, the famous knife thrower and juggler from the Cole Brother's Circus, comes to New Orleans a day or three early. He decides to drive down to Cocodrie to go fishing in the Mexican Ocean with Captain Jack. He is driving down highway 90 just [more]

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Boards Stats & Trivia

Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool
Board Posts 9570
Recs Received 13537
People who have rec'd these posts 1091
Recs to Posts Ratio (last 30 days) 3.40
Threads Started 866
Threads Started Percentage 9.05 %
Most Frequent Board BBQ, Art of, Fun(ky), The
Very First Post Re: Smoked Turkey (11/19/1999)
Percentage of Posts Rec'd 62.28 %
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