it409’s Activity

Today

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 3 hours ago

Always wear clean Underwear

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.

From the Florida Daily News comes this story of a couple that drove their car to Walmart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.

The [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 10:54 AM

Indian names

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.
"Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?"
"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm", she said.

Then he asked, "Why [more]

Yesterday

NL

Boards Post

it409 replied to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 5:24 PM

Re: The Strzok Creep....

Hey 409 - you sure have become the most popular liberal on this board, now that's funny, but also sad.

Besides, my post was not fake and it was news, but perhaps you see yourself doing the same thing....so that is not news for
[more]

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Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 10:50 AM

Ben Franklin's kite

Early one stormy morning, Ben Franklin was outside with a kite in one hand, and the string in the other.
Deborah says: "Ben, what the heck are you doing out there in the rain?"

Ben says: "This dang kite won't stay in [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 10:46 AM

Why my wife left me

My wife left me because she said I'm addicted to oxymorons. She was pretty ugly anyway.

Sun Jul 15

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 1:50 PM

Las Vegas hooker

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout lady of the evening catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the lady of the evening,"How much?"
Lady of the evening replies, "It starts at $500 [more]

Fri Jul 13

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 11:16 AM

Trump squirrel feeder

[more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 11:12 AM

A blonde at the bar

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into the local drinking establishment.
They take seats at the bar and decide they will have some fun with the bartender
and order their drinks in code. The bartender walks over to take their orders. [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 11:03 AM

The Texan love maker

A Frenchman, an Italian and a Texan were discussing lovemaking.
"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the Frenchman.
"She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."

"Ah, last night I made love [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 replied to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 10:50 AM

Re: The Strzok Creep....

The Humor board is no place for FAKE NEWS

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 7:28 AM

Life before computers

An apple was a fruit
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 7:25 AM

Not much of a garderner

I can’t tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion.

So when it came time to fix up my garden, I had no clue which plants to keep and which ones to remove.

Until, that is, my mother gave me this handy tip: “Pull them all [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 7:23 AM

Expressions

FATHER: When you go back to your Moms tonight, give her this envelope.
Tell her that since you are now 18 this is the LAST check she'll ever see from me
for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression her face." [more]

NL

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it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 7:17 AM

HMO manager in Heaven

Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at
the pearly gates for admission to heaven. St. Peter
asked them to identify themselves. One doctor stepped
forward and said, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon and
helped kids [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 7:15 AM

Friends

It's not peer pressure, it's just your turn.

I always tell new hires, don't think of me as your boss,
think of me as your friend who can fire you.

My buddy set me up on a blind date & said, "Heads up, [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 7:00 AM

Who discovered what???

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented conversation. [more]

Thu Jul 12

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 5:14 PM

Professional rules

Workers from different trades were asked, "What is the number one rule in your profession?"


Here were some responses...

Plumber: “Don’t chew your fingernails.”

Roofer: “You are fired before you hit the [more]

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 5:11 PM

Invitation

Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don't want to go.

NL

Boards Post

it409 posted to the Humor and Urban Legends board. 5:09 PM

Personal poem

My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full-time job
To find [more]

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Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool
Board Posts 14364
Recs Received 105900
People who have rec'd these posts 2843
Recs to Posts Ratio (last 30 days) 18.20
Threads Started 11845
Threads Started Percentage 82.46 %
Most Frequent Board Humor and Urban Legends
Very First Post Re: Nitetrain/Split (5/9/1999)
Percentage of Posts Rec'd 86.66 %
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